My life there and afterwards

I was at church yesterday, Sunday, and wrote down some thoughts from the talk the lead pastor was giving. 

If I  have any times in my life, or areas, where I am less than satisfied, then I need to learn how to live better in my own life. This was in reference to the fact that we can’t always change our circumstances right away, but don’t have to sit in misery. For me this starts with identifying what I’m not happy with, and currently it is a lack of motivation and focus. So I’m working on that, but the next thing that struck me as he talked about Mary and the Christmas story was an eye-opener, because I had never identified with Mary that much. She was, after all, perfect, and I sure am not.

How do I write this without sounding presumptuous, for I identify with Mary now. What God saw as a wonderful event, making Mary pregnant with Jesus, made Mary afraid. By human standards at that time she was doing a shameful thing that would get her shunned and possibly killed. I can identify with those fears. The culture I was living in at the C of J, and believed, said that if I left the Community, I would be breaking my vows and would be going against God’s will for my life; would be taking myself out of God’s protection and be putting myself into danger. Sickness, death and/or living a miserable life would be my lot. This fear kept me there years after I knew I wanted to leave, especially since I was getting older and did not have the energy of youth to start over again.

Having left has proven the falseness of that belief, and brought into question all that CJ teaches. As my life continues to blossom, and as I continue to deal with the legacy of fear and struggle that place has left me with, I am finding out all sorts of wonderful things. This identification with Mary is a pleasure and blessing to me. It humanizes her, and it uplifts me. (Who God is, who Jesus is, and what form a Creator takes is another whole lengthy philosophical discussion, but for now I will use common terminology. ) I feel blessed and closer to God as I get these little insights into the lives of people like Mary, and how it relates to my “today” life.

Have a Blessed Holiday, whether you are celebrating Christmas, Kwanzaa, or any other celebration that includes life, love, and the individual sanctity of each person.

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