I would like to give a heads up that my blog subjects might wander from time to time away from the stated purpose of this blog. The stated purpose is to tell about life in CJ, the extreme control group I lived in for 40 years. The longer I am out, of course, the more I am integrating into normal life, and the more I am becoming interested in other things. Having said that, I think my reflections will always refer back to CJ in some way or form, just because that was my life for so many years, and because I do want to keep revealing just how insular and hurtful the life lived there is.
I am reading about our coral reefs. It seems no matter which area of life I learn about, there are problems of great magnitude that need addressing. I am living in a hurting world. All of it, not just humans. I gave 40 years of my life to a work that ended up doing no good to the world. I could have been putting my energies into something useful.
While I may have moments of depression about this, I am not at a brick wall. I will do as much as I can in the time I have left, but it is a SHAME how CJ is so insular and prevents intelligent people from doing something useful outside of their own small insular world.
They say, and I used to try to convince myself, that being holy in our own small world was a benefit to the whole world. We were bringing the presence of God into the earth. It was because of people like us that God was having mercy on the whole world. We pretended that we were like the Catholic monasteries of old, where people thought the monks were holy and held them in awe as having a special pipeline to God. That is superstitious thinking, and CJ is rife with it.