My life there and afterwards

Emotional abuse is worse than physical or sexual abuse. This was news to me. Inside my own head I have been protesting that what I suffered is as bad as anyone else’s suffering, but haven’t been able to say so. One, I don’t think many people will agree with me that emotional and mental suffering are as bad as physical suffering, especially sexual suffering. Two, I don’t want to get into comparing, because everyone’s suffering is unique and painful to them. Three, I have been thoroughly conditioned to downplay my own suffering for the sake of the group. Unfortunately that is still strong in me because I think there is some truth in it. I don’t want to become the other extreme. I work with someone who is always complaining. That’s one reason I go to a therapist. That is my time to talk about me, and I can talk about what I have suffered, or continue to suffer, as much as I want, and it is in a healthy context.

Rape is a violation on the most intimate level of one’s personal being. Mental conditioning is also rape. Your body is who you are physically, and your mind is who you are cognitively. To have either one invaded, manipulated and used for someone else’s means and ends is rape. Both are rape.

I think it is a shame on modern society that the justice system does not recognize this. I think our society does not recognize that a person’s free will can be taken from them. Americans have put free will on such a pedestal that society does not realize how valuable and how vulnerable it is. It is so easy to be manipulated. Only vigilance (and unfortunately experience) can make us watchful of this.

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